Dear God,
For a week now, I’ve been studying Eternal Security.

As someone who is moving from Arminian to Reformed theology, this is one thing that has been bugging me, and one thing I can’t quiet give up – Apostasy.

You see, I believe with my whole heart that we can commit apostasy. It says in Romans that “If you stop trusting, you will be cut off [from the vine] too,” (Romans 11:22, NLT).

And Hebrews talks about those who have experienced salvation and the Holy Spirit (Hebrews 6:4-8).

Yet, I also know that Reformed theology is more biblically correct.

God, I want to be secure in my faith. I want to know that while I can mess up our relationship, that you will never banish me from your sight as your Child.

But, I also want to have an honest look at what the Bible says. As it seems, the Bible says a lot of things each denomination has trouble with. For Wesleyans, predetermination and election. For Reformed Christians/Calvinists, it’s apostasy. For Lutherans, the epistle of James and works.

Lord, I know in your goodness you are putting me on a path of goodness, not of confusion and cobwebs. I feel like I’m finally starting to clear the barn (my brain) of cobwebs, and beautify it and simplify my theology. I can only hope, and I know, that I am elect of God, as is my family, and that while some of us are struggling with Christianity, you hold unto us and love us dearly. Let us see Jesus with fresh eyes and embrace others as we rejoice in our salvation.

Lord, in your mercy, hear my prayer. And help this last bit of confusion in my brain.

Lord, I am truly a mixture of Arminian and Reformed theology. Truly, I am a Reformed Arminian!! Or at least, I feel like, God, that the Bible is more of a mixture of Protestant theologies because Jesus does not draw lines – he just draws us to His Word.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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