I’m almost done with spring semester, and this school year in general, and have been going through a whirlwind year of faith discovery.
First, I’ve discovered that I cannot repent enough to be saved, so I’ve figured out by heart that I am saved by grace and cannot lose my salvation by works. I can, however, lose salvation if I completely reject God, though. I’d have to spit in the face of God to do that. So, I’m Arminian by faith.
Second, I’ve been going back and forth on the Trinity for the past month to two months. I’m not exactly sure when I started getting interested in the Trinity, but it’s been growing on me ever since. Last week, after my last flip-flop (and confusing posts on the blog and Instagram), I decided to stick with the Trinity. I’ve now told others that I’m interested in studying it, and they are holding me accountable.
This journey with Christ is interesting, but I know the first two things to do are: Write letters to Christ about his mortal journey, and meditate on the presence and love of God in Christ. God is still God – he just came in the form of Jesus. So, the Son is also God. Trippy, but cool. I still pray to Heavenly Father, but I’ve been acknowledging Jesus as God the Son and mediator to the Father.
Now is the time to build my testimony of the God in Christ.
I’m mourning the loss of a Unitarian faith, but with each passing day, it seems to be getting better. I don’t like conservative Christianity that lacks social justice and fighting for the oppressed, though. If I’m ever going to be a trinitarian Christian, I’m going to be a progressive, open-minded, justice-fighting Christian. We are meant to love our neighbors as Christ loved us, right?
This is a strange and weird territory, but I know I can do this. I do sincerely apologize for all the flip-floppy posts on here. I’ve decided to keep them up to show my sincere faith journey.
Alleluia – Christ is Risen! Now as God became a servant on the cross for us, let us serve our fellow neighbors for God.
If you’ve been following this blog, you’ll know how bi-polar my posts have been about the Trinity. One day, I’m all for it. Other days, I’m confused and concerned.
I’m here to declare that I just don’t know, and that’s okay.
I’m here to declare that I’m in a gray area of faith right now.
I’m a Unitarian Christian by heart. But, I’ve been wanting to explore the Trinity for a while now. So, I’m exploring it.
I’m so sorry for the confusion.
It’s a loss of identity, especially on the Internet, that I’m experiencing right now. I’ve been a Unitarian for so long (two years out of three years as a Christian!), so this is a struggle. But I’m determined that my Savior will always be by my side. As God incarnate, He is my King, Shepherd, and Savior. He is my first love.
I’ll be sticking with Trinitarian beliefs now. I need to stick it out.
Alleluia and Amen.
Thanks, Leigh Todd
If you haven’t read in my last blog post, I’ve decided to CANCEL my break from the blog. Amidst needing to post about Easter and still wanting to be Unitarian, I know that I can stay strong in this faith journey and have decided to keep the blog OPEN.
ONE thing that stuck out to me while reading about the Eastern Orthodox faith is that Jesus is the very mouthpiece of God. Not only is he the Son of God, but is very much of essence of the Father. As an unorthodox Unitarian (hahaha, get it), I love that. It reminds me of the LDS faith, in which Jesus is the stand-in God for Heavenly Father in the Old Testament, but without all the baggage of the LDS faith, including tithing, giving up coffee, and giving up the lectionary.
It’s not that I don’t want to sacrifice for my faith – I just don’t find tithing or giving up coffee biblical. And even the Jews followed some sort of lectionary (Torah portions) back in Jesus’ day.
But anyway, I love Heavenly Father (God) being a distinct, spiritual being from Jesus. There is only One True God, and One Lord, Jesus. And the Spirit? I’m not completely sold on the Spirit being completely personified in the Gospel of John, Romans, and Revelation (and possibly elsewhere). But, I can’t imagine the Spirit being anything else but God’s power. Personifying it is weird to me – even if my position is not biblical.
Oh well. You can’t be a biblical-literalist fully – it’s just impossible. I can write about that on another post!
So, I sit here praying to my Heavenly Father, because Jesus tore the curtain between us and God and acts as our high priest and mediator, giving us direct access to God’s throne of mercy and grace in times of need! I talk with Jesus, as Paul and the other Disciples post-resurrection spoke with Jesus. Jesus guided them as the “arm of the LORD” and loved them dearly. I gladly hope Jesus loves me just as much.
I’m still not satisfied fully, spiritually, though. I know one-day I’ll return to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, but today is not that day. One day I’m hoping the church will be more welcoming to all, including our queer folks and part-member families, and might allow at black tea to be drank.
I know, I know, I want to be a Pastor and be non-trinitarian, too. Basically, I want my cake and be able to eat it, too! It’s not right, I know this. I need to be willing to make some sacrifices, but I’m not willing to make those right now.
One day, I will.
Also, I’m not sure how this post went out the way it did. It seemed so organized in the beginning…
Alleluia and Amen.